Gilded Treasure
by LivAndLetDie
Summary: 3x17 What's so bad about a bit of self tanner in hand moisturizer? Maybe the fact that these tanned and moisturized hands are used for other, 'self-exploratory' activities and leave traces. OR How Blaine got that weird tan 'down there'


**Disclaimer thingy: Don't own Glee, Blaine, Kurt, Chandler or Blaine's Penis. I don't own a self-tanner either.  
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**Of all the things that could have stuck in my mind from last night's episode...  
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**Gilded Treasure**

**by LivAndLetDie**

''I'm so...glad...you're mine,'' Blaine whispered between kisses.

"Why are you still wearing clothes?" Kurt asked in a breathless whisper, kissing Blaine back while simultaneously trying to unbutton Blaine's black and gray stripped cardigan. He really loved this particular piece of clothing (how could he not? Kurt was, after all, the one who picked it out for his boyfriend) but, if these black buttons remained stubborn for much longer, he will tear them. Kurt's grey vest and white polka dot shirt laid somewhere on the floor of Blaine's bedroom five feet behind them and he was slowly shimmying out of his pants.

God, Kurt sounded so wanton, so needy. Maybe they acted a bit like an old married couple from time to time but that did not stop their teenage hormones from raging. It had been far too long since the last time they had had an opportunity to be alone.

''I bet Chandler could never turned you on like this?'' Blaine asked, sounding just a little bit smug. Okay, a bit more than _a little bit_.

Kurt managed to unbutton the last button of Blaine's cardigan. He almost shouted in joy, but the fact that Blaine's still had a stripped t-shirt underneath made him groan instead. ''Charlie who?'' Kurt asked not paying attention to what Blaine was talking about. His mind was more preoccupied with thought about getting his amazing boyfriend naked and on the bed as soon as possible.

Kurt might be the one covered from head to toe in numerous layers, but at least he knew how to quickly get out of them. If getting out of skinny jeans were an Olympic sport, Kurt would be bringing home gold medal from London next summer. Blaine, on the other hand, usually moved with the speed of and eighty year old man with a back problem. And today he was being extra slow.

Or maybe it just seemed like that, because every moment not spent close and naked with his boyfriend right now felt like hours for Kurt.

''Not Charlie, Chandler,'' Blaine clarified while he pulled his t-shirt off. ''Who's Charl-?'' Blaine started to ask, but he was interrupted when Kurt's lips once again landed on his already kiss-sore ones. Kurt kissed softly yet still passionately Blaine's upper lip first and then his lower one, nibbling on it slightly with his teeth.

"Shut up and take off your pants," Kurt replied huskily, pulling away from Blaine slightly. ''And hurry up,'' he said and turned around to face Blaine's bed. Kurt stepped out of his pants on his way over to Blaine's nightstand, leaving him just in his black boxer briefs. Kurt reached inside the second drawer and pulled out lube that Blaine kept there. Kurt tossed the blue bottle one the pillow and playfully jumped on the bed.

He felt giddy. His relationship with Blaine was amazing. They had had an argument but at least it didn't happen publicly in the middle of hallway or end in huge sad sob-fest (thank God for that, because Kurt did not spend hundreds of dollars on skin products only to end up with blotchy red face).

He made a mental note that later on, when Kurt will be basking in his after sex glow, he has to write a smug text to Rachel saying _''THIS is how couples fight. Take notes.''_

Kurt turned back to see what Blaine was doing. His boyfriend was still standing exactly like he did 10 seconds ago, and he was still wearing his fucking pants. ''Come on, Blaine,'' Kurt said trying to sound seductive. ''I'm getting cold here. Take of your clothes and come warm me up.''

His boyfriend ran his hand through his gelled hair and sighed. ''Maybe we could do something else. I could blow you, or something.''

''Blaine? What's this about?'' Kurt asked, confused about Blaine reluctance to join him on the bed the way Kurt asked. ''Is this still about Chandler and NYADA? I thought we talked about it and now we're good?''

''_Please say we're good,''_ Kurt felt like begging. If for nothing else the events of last couple of days made Kurt realize just how important Blaine was for him. Even if they had stayed in their ''old married couple'' mode, it would have been alright. Even without the excitement, sexting, compliments or adorable gestures, it would still be amazing, because Kurt could happily spend the rest of his life talking about weather _with Blaine_.

Because of Blaine.

But sex was an added bonus. And this was not the kind of bonus Kurt wanted to receive only once a year before Christmas.

''No! No. _No_,'' Blaine repeated over and over again. ''We're more than good, we're amazing. But we're here. I'm here and you're here nearly naked and on my bed. And we're finally alone and there's a bed,'' Blaine rambled not really making any sense to Kurt. ''And we haven't exactly been like this in a long time and Mrs Pillsbury said that talking is good. So maybe we should talk first. Because this will be really awkward and naked...and the mood...and –, '' Blaine kept mumbling something, getting quieter with each word until Kurt couldn't even make out the words he was saying. What was he talking about?

''Blaine!'' Kurt said loudly stopping Blaine's muttering. ''Slow down and tell me what's wrong.''

Was Blaine blushing? Yes, yeas he was. Blaine wasn't really the blushing type – he kept it cool even when he knew that he was making the fool out of himself. (And man, did his boyfriend do that _a lot_) Kurt would never believe it, if he wouldn't be seeing it with his own eyes. His boyfriend's cheeks were in a very fetching salmon colour.

Blaine sighed again. He looked embarrassed, nervous and a bit like a puppy that missed his daily postman harassing time. ''You're going to laugh,'' Blaine whined.

Kurt actually did chuckle, because that was not what he was expecting. ''Why would I?''

''You shouldn't, because it's not funny, but you will. And it's your fault!'' Blaine exclaimed more in embarrassment than in anger.

''What is my fault?'' Kurt asked, not really knowing what this was all about. Blaine had never had problems with his body before. Kurt sometimes felt like his layered clothes still revealed a bit too much for his taste, but Blaine had no problem with wearing tight, form fitting outfits or walking around shirtless in public during hot summer days. And why would he? Kurt would be the first one to agree that Blaine had nothing to hide with his shirts. Or pants, for that matter. Although Kurt would have serious problem with it, if Blaine decided that summer was too hot to wear pants in public.

''It's the stupid bronzer, it gets everywhere. And I use moisturizer to...I...I'll just show you, okay?'' Blaine hesitantly asked.

''Sure,'' Kurt agreed. He felt really confused. And horny. But mainly confused. And since both of those problems could be solved with removal of Blaine's pants, he had no objections.

Kurt watched as Blaine hooked his fingers in the waistband of his grey pants. Blaine hesitated again and asked first ''Promise you will not laugh?''

''Blaine, I've seen you naked. Trust me, I won't laugh. I might jump you, but I will not laugh.'' Blaine still looked unsure, so Kurt added, ''you're stalling. And I'm getting colder and colder here. Get on with it, or I will have to put some clothes on.''

Blaine drew a deep breath and pulled his pants and boxer briefs down in one go when he exhaled.

Kurt did not laugh. For ten seconds he just stared, mouth agape.

Then he burst out laughing.

''You're laughing!'' Blaine told him in accusatory tone.

''I'm not!'' Kurt tried to argue but it wasn't convincing, because he almost couldn't take a breath to form words.

''This is not funny. It's tragic!''

''It's a little bit funny,'' Kurt gasped out still guffawing hysterically. He calmed down a bit and took one more look at his boyfriend's penis – he once more burst out laughing and he had to roll back on the bed, because his stomach hurt less, if he wasn't sitting.

Blaine huffed and bent down to pull his pants back on. ''I'm sorry, I'm sorry!'' Kurt called out quickly, seeing how upset his boyfriend was about this. He had to wipe his eyes, because tears of laughter were rolling down his cheeks. ''I wasn't laughing about you, I promise.''

''Yeah, right. Unless there's another naked guy with weird tan on his cock standing behind me right now, then you were laughing about me.''

Kurt stood up from the bed and came to stand in front of Blaine. ''No. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to,'' he said and grabbed Blaine's hands, stopping him from pulling his pants back on all the way.

''I guess I would be laughing too, if it had happened with someone else,'' Blaine said. ''But it didn't. My dick is chocolate brown and my boyfriend finds my misfortune hilarious. I will be traumatised for the rest of my life!''

''It's not chocolate brown, it's _''Gilded glow''_,'' Kurt argued. He started to snicker again, but stopped when Blaine glared at him. ''I'm sorry,'' he apologized again trying to suppress his smile. ''How did this happen?''

Blaine's blush turned into a nice shade of Cherry blossom pink. Kurt had been right when he decided that Blaine looked good with a little colour, but brown/gold tones suited him better than pinks. Although, to be fair, if Kurt hadn't had this idea his lovable boyfriend wouldn't be standing right now in front of him with his body in normal pale-person-from-Ohio skin complexion and with a dark golden brown penis nestled in between his legs.

''I love the smell of my moisturizer and it makes my hands really soft. Like yours. And it's somehow less messy and sticky than lube, so I usually use it to...you know. And I was keeping my distance from you and we may not have been physical in a long time, but that doesn't mean that I didn't think about you. Often. Two times a day, minimum. I didn't notice it at first and now it just doesn't come off!'' Blaine looked up and saw Kurt grinning again. ''It's not funny!''

''No, it really is,'' Kurt told him. ''It said on the bottle that, if you stop using the product, tan will go away in two to six weeks.''

''Six weeks! I can't be walking around with bronze coloured dick for six weeks!''

''Why not? It's not like you're a professional trench coat flasher. Who else are you exactly planning to show this?'' Kurt asked him, trying to placate him.

''No one, but still. Look at it!'' Blaine said, still obviously very embarrassed.

''Okay, don't mind, if I do,'' Kurt sad with a smirk and sank down to his knees in front of Blaine. He grabbed the standing boy's pants and pulled them down again, so that he could have an uninterrupted view. Blaine's thighs and stomach were pale; not ivory like Kurt's but still noticeably paler than golden brown cock nestled in black curls.

Kurt burst out laughing again and Blaine instantly tried to pull back. ''Oh my god, you're laughing about it,'' he accused.

Kurt quickly wrapped his arms around Blaine and grabbed his ass, to prevent Blaine from rushing away (and to cop a feel). ''No, don't go. I didn't mean to. It's just...it's shinny.''

''Yeah, I guess,'' Blaine agreed. ''It indeed has a_ 'Gilded glow''_.''

Kurt reached for the base of Blaine's cock and moved it around a bit to better admire how it shimmered lightly in light.

''Hey, hey!'' Blaine called out. ''Stop playing with it!''

Kurt looked up and threw Blaine a wicked smirk. ''But I thought you like it when I play with it?''

Kurt moved his hand the base of Blaine's half-hard erection to the tip where he used his index finger to trace patterns around the sensitive head. He leant in, blowing puffs of breath over the tip, watching it twitch.

He leaned in and gave a small kitten lick to the head of Blaine's penis. ''Mhmm, taste like coconuts and gold – a winner,'' Kurt teased. If only Kurt didn't have his cock near his amazing mouth, Blaine would have told him that it's still not funny. But maybe Blaine could see the funny side too after a blowjob.

Kurt narrowed his eyes in concentration and shoved Blaine's cock into his mouth. Blaine bucked and held back a scream by sheer determination alone, only a small gasp slipping from his lips.

Blaine moaned, huffed and grunted as Kurt bobbed his head. Kurt mumbled around the tan cock, sending vibrations to it. It was a sight to see. Kurt's pink red and puffy lips stretched around Blaine's dick, his pink tongue darting out every now and then to lick the underside of it or lap at the pre cum that seemed to continuously drip.

"Fuck!" Blaine cursed loudly.

Kurt bobbed his head up and down as traces of saliva ran down onto Blaine's cock shaft and thighs. The boy on his knees flattened his tongue, making sure that the underside of Blaine's cock would constantly slide across it.

''Kurt. Just like that. So good. Close,'' Blaine mumbled.

"Mmm." Kurt hummed and the vibrations from the tiny noise almost threw Blaine over the edge. Kurt took the rigid length into his mouth as far as he could before pulling back and blowing a shaky breath over it.

''Don't know, if it's the darker colour or just the fact that you're _very _happy to see me, but I think you're bigger than usually.''

Blaine's grabbed Kurt's hair softly and lightly pushed Kurt's head back down. ''Don't kill the mood me by reminding me. Close.''

Kurt chuckled but allowed his boyfriend to lead him back down to his cock. Blaine's hands tightened in his hair as he took him in her mouth. Kurt didn't watch ''those movies'' or read articles like _''5 great blowjob tips''_ in _Cosmopolitan_ so it was purely instinct and the sensual fever that was racing through him that drove him. Blaine gritted his teeth at the feel of Kurt's lips on him, his tongue flicking and teasing as he sucked his hard length into the back of his throat.

''Kurt,'' Blaine gasped out in a warning.

Blaine watched Kurt as he moved his head up and down on his cock at a fast pace, his lips and tongue creating an intense friction that he could feel through his entire body. Blaine lost all control when Kurt sucked hard and began to move his head even faster, his hand gripping Blaine just below his lips and stroking him firmly. Blaine attempted to pull away as he came, but Kurt held firm and swallowed his seed hungrily. Licking his lips, he looked up at him.

''Would it be bad, if I said that I love you right now?'' Blaine asked and also sank on his knees, to be face to face with Kurt.

''I might ask for you to sing a _''I'm sorry and you're amazing'' _song in front of whole Glee club, but I would forgive you eventually,'' Kurt teased.

''I'm willing to risk it,'' Blaine said and leaned in for a soft kiss.

''Bed. Now.'' Kurt gasped out.

Blaine leaned back and laughed when he saw Kurt's mouth.

''What?'' Kurt asked. Was there cum on his face?

Blaine traced his thumb against Kurt's lips. ''There's gold shimmer on your lips.''

''Hmm,'' Kurt said and sucked his lower lip in his mouth. ''Well, it's your shimmer - lick it off. Then get on the bed – we will have to see where else you could leave the shimmer on me for you to clean it off afterwards.''

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**I can't believe that I wrote 3000 words about Blaine's tanned penis. I need to seek some professional help. But this is what came to my mind, when I hear that line about weird tan hands and I just**_** had**_** to write it to get it out of my system. **

**Originally there was no porn in this, but then I decided that for all of you pervy (my type of) people there should be an award for actually reading this.**

**Eh. No regrets, just weirdly tanned body parts (and love).**

**Roses are red,**

**Violets are blue**

**Blaine's penis is tanned,**

**So leave a REVIEW.**


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